News of the Weird

What started as a hobby among a few friends more than 35 years ago has grown to be the most widely syndicated compendium of strange-but-true news stories today. Now, with the aid of the internet, the editors at Andrews McMeel Syndication continue a tradition started by pioneering weird news purveyor Chuck Shepherd, presenting a distillation of the best bizarre dispatches gathered from around the world.

Not simply an aggregation of news feeds indiscriminately thrown together, News of the Weird contains items hand-picked by a twisted cadre of editors with a discerning eye for the unreal. Drawing from legitimate reportage, News of the Weird delivers each example of human eccentricity without embellishment. It’s funny, it’s factual and in the era of “truth being stranger than fiction,” the column truly lives up to its name.

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LEAD STORY — And So It Begins

— Two state attorneys general and the Food and Drug Administration are cracking down on disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker, who is now the host of “The Jim Bakker Show” on cable TV. The New York attorney general’s office on March 3 sent a cease-and-desist order to Bakker, and on March 10, the Missouri attorney general filed suit against him. At issue is Bakker’s hawking of “Silver Solution,” a “medication” made from silver that supposedly cures all sorts of ailments, for use in treating COVID-19. On Feb. 12, The Washington Post reported, Bakker asked a guest on his show whether the gel could cure the coronavirus. “It hasn’t been tested on this strain of the coronavirus, but it’s been tested on other strains of the coronavirus, and has been able to eliminate it within 12 hours,” said “naturopathic doctor” Sherrill Sellman. In the letter, the “extremely concerned” Lisa Landau, chief of the attorney general’s health care bureau, called the segment false advertising and said it violates New York law. She gave Bakker 10 days to comply. [The Washington Post, 3/5/2020]

— A man in Vilnius, Lithuania, with help from his sons, reportedly locked his wife in their bathroom after she expressed worry to him that she had contracted COVID-19 from traveling to Italy, where she came in contact with some Chinese people. The husband called a doctor, who suggested she isolate herself; she contacted police because her husband wouldn’t let her out. It’s unclear how long she was locked in the bathroom, but Delfi.lt reported that she was tested for the virus and did not have it. [Delfi.lt, 2/28/2020]

— The U.S. State Department has advised people, particularly older adults, to avoid cruise ships and air travel during the coronavirus onslaught. But some travelers just can’t be dissuaded. Take, for example, Ben Stults, a sophomore at Florida State University, who will head out on a cruise to Mexico this week for spring break. He’s hoping to “hit the sweet spot” — get there and get home before the virus takes hold in Mexico. To be safe, however, he’s bringing along a respirator face mask and a deck of cards in case, you know, quarantine. The Daily Beast asked Stults if he thought his plan was a sound one, to which he replied, “Honestly, no.” [Daily Beast, 3/10/2020]


Animal Antics

Firefighters were called to a farm near Bramham, Leeds, in England on March 7 to put out a fire in a large pigpen. At this particular farm, the pigs wear pedometers to prove that they’re free-range, Fox News reported, but one of those gadgets was the probable cause of the blaze, firefighters said. They theorize that one of the pigs ate one of the pedometers, then passed it in its excrement, sparking a fire in the pen’s hay. The culprit was the copper in the battery reacting with the pig poo. No pigs were hurt in the fire; let’s hope they’re getting all their steps in as usual. [Fox News, 3/9/2020]


The Continuing Crisis

A Polish tattooist known only as Piotr A. has pleaded not guilty to causing blindness in model Aleksandra Sadowska, 25, from Wroclaw, Poland. Sadowska engaged the artist to dye her eyeballs black in 2016. Following the procedure, she had pain in her eyes, which the tattooist said could be treated with painkillers. But she lost sight first in her right eye, and doctors told her there was nothing they could do to prevent the same fate for her left eye. “There is clear evidence that the tattoo artist did not know how to perform such a delicate procedure,” Sadowska’s lawyers said, according to the Daily Mail. “And yet he decided to perform it, which led to this tragedy.” As he awaits his trial, the tattooist continues to run his salon in Warsaw, where he mainly pierces ears. [Daily Mail, 2/27/2020]


Crime Report

On Feb. 28, fourth-grade teacher Nancy Sweeney, 45, was arrested in Niles, Illinois, for assaulting a neighbor and calling her “a (expletive) Nazi.” According to the Chicago Tribune, Sweeney attacked the 87-year-old woman, who is of German descent, in the parking garage of their condominium building, where the woman was exercising. The victim was struck in the face with a purse and fell, suffering cuts and bruises. The Cook County state’s attorney’s office approved not only an aggravated battery charge, but also a hate crime charge, based on the Nazi reference. The Park Ridge-Niles school district placed Sweeney on paid leave on March 4 upon learning of the charges, district spokesman Peter Gill said. [Chicago Tribune, 3/10/2020]


Resourceful

Professor Peter Davies, 70, is an expert in tuberculosis at the Liverpool Heart and Chest Hospital in England — and a lay leader of the Church of England. He admittedly also has a porn addiction, which caught up with him in late 2018, when it was discovered that Davies had been engaging in “inappropriate browsing activity” on his work computer — including viewing someone having sex with a horse and a dog. According to Metro News, Davies told the Medical Practitioners’ Tribunal Service: “In 2010 I made a confession to my wife. … She put a filter on all my computers … I had some counseling and I stopped for a period of two years. … But when I came back to it, I realized that I was in really deep trouble.” Davies was scheduled to go before the General Medical Council on March 11, which conceded that Davies had “shown insight and took some steps to remedy his conduct.” [Metro News, 3/11/2020]

 

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